Breathing in his scent as we laid curled together under the warm covers made me the happiest I've been in a while. For once, I felt like staying still and not running away. My double edge sword tipped to its dull side showing silver underbelly to the world, glinting brilliantly.
The winds howled outside while the temperature read thirty degrees and declining on the local news channel, after reports on double homicides that took place on the far south side of Chicago. Leaves fell while some lost all fall colors. Their barren branches whipped and howled in the night. Winter weather. I let my desires take over, intimacy, warm hands...Warm. He became my shelter from the elements, and I've never felt more safe, and in that moment, I wanted to stay that way for as long as I could, before life began again and I'd have to say goodbye.
Reality
College
It's confusing, this college business >.<. The over achiever in me wouldn't mind going to Northwestern because it is one of the best schools, or best undergrad program in the nation for what I want to major in. The other side of me wants the freedom that comes with going to Columbia college. I've always loved the artsy vibe and interesting characters. I never did find the whole "college experience" thing intriguing. I loathed it. The sports, the fraternities...eh. If I were to get in to Northwestern, I'd know I'd go. It hurts for me to say this, that I would choose what my mind is telling me over my heart. I'm saying it's fate. Deep down, I know I should probably go the University route. It'll help me achieve something great. I'd have more resources, etc. Going to the other college really wouldn't be a bad thing, just that much harder to get and find opportunities? Stupid decisions. Maybe I'll flip a coin.
4 comments:
splendid imagery
but I do believe in terms of reality, you are speaking of the future
and the present of which for you, like me, feels much like fantasy
Lately I have been whisped away in this love ordeal fantasy affair, in a way like you describe I can relate.
The taboo and theatrical nature of the entire thing lately has me numb to the pain of the future, and excited by the very tinniest of skin brushes, and artsy emotions
It is inspiring at least
Wow! You really have it down--what we are really thinking while we are doing this stupid thing called work or school.
page of cups, sorta of kinda I associate, yeah I do... alot, actually, lol
my phone died
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