On the weekends I've been taking a Radio 101 class by the producers of 91.5 WBEZ public radio. They have a new public radio site in Chicago called Vocalo. And basically anyone can submit radio pieces or even use your cellphone to submit a message to the station. We had to sign up for accounts at vocalo.org. It's been fun, and the best class I've taken at my saturday writing class. I've found out that I have a radio voice, and everyone were commenting me on it. So I suppose I'm a bit interested in radio now, almost all forms of journalism, except news anchoring. I might actually want to do this for some time in my life.
I've been a bit rebellious lately, and mom's been trying to kick me out the house. I'm in a constant struggle with myself about just getting out and finding my own way to support myself and college, and knowing that that's ridiculous and that I need her help more than ever. I hate that I need her, and she holds it over my head like my life line with the pair of scissors in her hand. I fucking hate her. It's wrong of me to say that? Yeah. I don't care anymore. Romantically, I'm bored again, and that's not good. Roaming eyes do no wonders. He talked about marriage which scared the shit out of me. Not cool, and I was like ready to bolt. Don't tie me down, I need lots of room to breathe. Which is paradoxical...cause we don't see each other enough as it is. One or every two weeks....and I'm torn between my desire to see him all the time or to just forget it and the strain the distance puts on us.
Typical adolescence.
4 comments:
And did you anticipate yourself responding this way?
Nothing new in terms of your nature, which undoably needs changing, in your nature and beautifully secure.
You are an independent soul, let the world conform to you--that's the way you like it anyway.
I'd say fuck it and ride the wave, your world is destined towards your very will. (and all the other wishy-washy bullshit I tell you, take it and make it your own)
Journalism, undoubtfully you would excel in and do great and happily.
I was thinking about majoring in English when I return to college, teaching and writing on the side. I'm in the process of collaborating a book.
But I understand now that we are consumed in ourselves at this point in time, and that is well.
I've gone off the deep-end, Lori. I'm mad and you can see it in my eyes, hear it in my voice, words, I vibrate to that crazy string and I'm enjoying it to a certain extent. I'd boast that with brilliance comes my insanity, and I'll laugh outload, ignore all others and wrap myself up in my world, keeping it safely under control of the medicine. I am tempermental, but who am I speaking to but Ms. Moody--and at this point I realize I'm rambling, but i couldn't imagine at this point in time you being called Mrs. Moody because you've got much to do, and you can explain to him such.
Good luck with life. As for mine I'm walking a thin line of suicide and enlightenment. Lol.
laugh outload. that was an accident but I have to write that down for its sheer retardedness
Oh, by the way Caitlin and I are doing great. No talks of marriage, but I love her deeply and she has the effect of brightening my mood.
I'm not sure if I told you what happened during my hospitalization experience?
All kinds of crazy things took place, I met some interesting people, but in the middle of it all I caught the flu and found myself clutching the toilet and screaming for them to get the demons out of my head.
At one point I wrote with ketchup on the day room window and blamed it on the schizophrenic guy. He had to go to isolation for it, but he told me to blame it on him. Weird guy. I also commanded fifteen of the other hospital mates to get up and walk up and down the hospital halls for exercise. I gestured magnificently with my hands and lead the adventure, putting everyone into good cheer and making the nurses laugh at me.
So much to tell, but i'd get carpal tunnel syndrome, or something else.
:: sighs ::
I've been writing like crazy, no pun intended, but I think it is good. I like words, capturing them, indulging in them. Delicious.
You take care.
^LED NOT LEAD
GODDAMMIT
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