Coming to an End

I just got back from an Anime convention in Illinois today. It was pretty cool. Got to let out my inner nerd for a weekend with my boyfriend and friends. The end of the con signified a new period in my life sort of. It meant that I would have to go back to the real world of finals, bills, and moving out of residence life. I have to go back home with my mother for a summer and work my ass off to get my own place before the next school year. This summer means being less social then I've become. It's time to be self reflecting and introverted until close to the end of the summer where I can let loose. It's time to lose that winter and new relationship weight(You really do gain weight in relationships >.<). It's time to give up a little bit of my freedom to get further in life.

The relationship with Leo has been great, doing really well then the earlier b.s. at the start. One thing that's bothering me is that all his friends don't know about us. It's not like he is technically hiding it, but he's not explicitly saying anything. We're always together and hanging out, and I think people assume it. The big thing is the age. Even though I don't see it as a big enough gap to be a problem, I think he still thinks it would be in his group of friends since they are older than me. Not all of them by that much. Sometimes it makes me feel like he's ashamed of me, but he has me around all the time. He's spending more time with me, and his once cold demeanor is melting away. He is more affectionate with me and laid back when I'm around. He's changing with me and for me, which he said he would. I didn't ask nor expected him to change. I expected the worse, and he told me, "Lori, I'm going to change for you, cause the way I am now is not working for our relationship." And he did it. It shows me how much he loves me. Even though he gets jealous in our poly relationship and of my interest in other people, particularly guys, he's always working on it. This has been the most adult relationship of my life, and probably one of the most significant romantic relationships of my life, which I have had many in my young years. But I learned much about how I handle myself in my relationships and what doesn't work so well. These things I've been changing. The bullshit with our relationship is coming to an end. We're realizing everything doesn't have to be exciting all the time. We can just relax with each other. There is no need to worry about losing one another, because we have each other. We love each other, and we're willing to work on any rough patches ahead of us.

So here I am tired from the convention and just generally happy to have a strong relationship to support me through my life changes with trying to be independent, getting my new apartment, and working on my career. I feel lucky. Even though I have to take a few steps backwards to realize my dreams, I know that I'm moving forward with every stride. Just have to take a pit stop for gas, and I'm on my way to independence.