Quest

My quest continues for love. That sounds corny as hell, but it's true. :: sigh :: I've decided that right now I'm really not interested in dating any guys at the moment, unless old, dark and mysterious decides he wants a relationship with me, but I haven't seen him in weeks, and it's starting to grain on me. Damn how much longer does it have to be before my lonliness subsides. Yet again, no luck with the girls. Maybe there's something wrong with me, I'm starting to wonder.

Classes have been going well. I got a shit load of homework piled on me as usual. There's nothing I can do about that. I've been working, doing the theatre thing, I'm glad I got my articles in on time. Now they're going through other editors and I should finally be able to just put in the corrections and send it off to the designers, and then I'm quitting that job. I hate to do it, but I need time for myself. This is my last magazine with them because I have to focus on my school work and have some kind of social life, finally. I'm starting to fill burned out again. I just got another job today to work in the mail room in the residence hall I'm staying in. Each and every paycheck will be put into my checking account so I can start saving up for an apartment for next summer. Robert and I are moving in together. Then we'll really be a married couple almost. Our relationship is strange at best. Gay men...queer woman...soulmate love. Strange indeed.

The girl I like who lives next to me, confided in me some more about her sexuality. I want her. I really like her, but I'm so scared. I don't know how to make the first move anymore. I'm not as daring as I use to be. So I think I'll end up letting her slip through my fingertips just like I do for everyone I really like and want to be with, or they find a way to slip away from me. I'm starting to think this quest is useless. I'm about ready to throw in the towel and call it quits.