Necessary Work

Today I went to the theatre company I work for. They gave us our scripts for The Laramie Project and had us watch the HBO adaptation to get a feel of what the play was about. I was moved. Ten years later, things still haven't changed completely. Lawrence King this year, age 14, was shot in his own school. Hate crimes are still at an all time high, and you'd think in 2008 things would've changed. I'm extremely excited to do the Laramie Project and once again I've been reminded of how much I love theatre. I'm sure this is something I want to keep doing in the future. There's nothing like being on stage and feeling the crowd's energy. It's a give and take relationship. What the crowd gives me I give back, sometimes more so. But being someone else, sort of gives me this insight into myself, parts of me I tend to ignore, but I'm now forced to face. It's a humbling and amazing experience.

I have school in the morning. I'm really excited about my Gay and Lesbian Studies class that starts on Wednesday. Some of the required reading is as follows: Toward Stonewall, Before Stonewall, Stone Butch Blues, and America's Boy. I'm sure it will be an engaging class, and I'll learn some new things about queer history that I didn't know before.

Right now, no progress on the girl I like. I still like her immensely, but I feel like a complete idiot around her, and a lot of times I don't even know what to say to her. That's the thing about me. Give me a piece of paper and a pen and I can write you a story, but ask me to tell you a story off the top of my head, I freeze. I can't articulate my thoughts very well. That's always been my weakness. She's so smart, and athletic, and artistic...she's everything and more. Charming as heck. People are just automatically drawn to her and I'm just another face in the crowd. I'm no one in particular. All I have is my drive, hardheadedness, and ambition to see me through. Always a working progress. That's what got me here this far, but I might need more then that now. Maybe I doubt my self a little bit too much.

So I've been feeling the "singles" blues lately. I keep wanting a relationship more and more. I want someone to love me and worship me. Yeah I might be an attention whore that's it. That explains my promiscuity. I want everyone to love me and be with me or something of the sort. I feel dull as fuck lately. Oh well. Time to sleep...class in the morning.

Update on first day of school later tomorrow.