Lonely Night

I'm starting to sound like some badly written emo song.

The other day's practice went pretty bad for me. My mind wasn't in it. I was charming, sure, and everyone gravitated toward me but I believe I was concealing my anger very well. He was at practice again. Every time I see him I just want to go the other way and I tried to silently repel him away. I think he brings out the overly dramatic martyr in me. I wanted to be strong and keep a smile on my face but it was fading slowly as the day went by. Three hours of rehearsal felt like a lifetime of pain. I was looking at the stars last night and I thought, man if I could be up there and not down here. I'm lonely as hell. Bitter and got damn lonely. I'm a fool for giving my heart to those fuckers that don't deserve it.
I had the weirdest dream two nights ago. A girl I know named Deja appeared in my dreams, except that she was two people. I remember hanging out with a group and we went into this store and this lady who looked just like Deja didn't want my friend to buy this hat, I think it was red. I was like "fine I don't want your damn hat anyway". She gave me a hard look and said something and I remember apologizing to her. Then she said she would give us a psychic reading. I went in and she examined me with her eyes. She came really close to my face and seemed to be peering into my soul. And she started pressing harder and harder. I held on even though the pressure was getting a bit too much for me. But then something broke, and she seemed to be in, and then pleased, let me go. She said, "You were the one that lasted the longest". I don't remember too much after that but that I looked back and walked out with the group and the other Deja. I don't have the slightest idea what that dream means, but I remember before that night I was having the most extraordinary day. I seemed to be having some kind of visions, and predicted that I'd see two people that I haven't seen in a while, and the color of my friend's shirt. Strange Nights.